This week an old client of mine called me up from Napa, asking me if I could help him find his way back to Marin County. When I say old, I mean old. He’s in his mid-80’s. My client had miraculously driven down from Washington with his dog Charlie (pictured above) for company, hoping to find another home in the North Bay. I advised him from the outset that buying another home was out of the question. He needed to be in assisted living or at least an independent living environment where he could transition to assisted living.
I gave him directions, which he was unable to follow. Two hours later he called me from Richmond asking for help again. He said he had driven across the bridge, which meant he made it to and through Marin, then crossed over the bay. This is a man who had lived in Terra Linda for 45 years, and he apparently drove right by it in a haze of fatigue and brain fog. He was just off the Richmond Parkway, parked outside the Making Waves Academy and fortunately I knew exactly where that is. I told him to wait there and I’d drive over, then he could follow me back to San Rafael.
When I caught up with him outside of the Making Waves the first thing I told him was that he had lost whatever marbles he had left on the drive down. I was joking, but not really. When my mom had dementia, I used to tell her she lost her marbles too, which is a kind way of telling an older person they have diminished mental capacity. The humor in the message softens the blow of truth while still resonating.
He has been very insistent on wanting to buy another house, but along with his son and his Realtor in Washington we’ve been unified in our message that he belongs in assisted living. I believe becoming entirely disoriented in what should have been familiar territory sealed the deal for him. I got him checked into the Sheraton Four Points in Terra Linda and with a plan in place we visited Alma Via and Drakes Terrace in Terra Linda. Neither place spoke to him, as he was looking for something quieter and out of the way.
It was then I realized that the Oakmont Gardens in Santa Rosa could be just the place. Sure enough, he was instantly enamored with the community. After a tour he signed a rental agreement and laid down a deposit. On the way back to San Rafael I convinced him to take a plane back to Washington rather than drive. It’s how he should have come back to California in the first place but he could not be talked out of driving. I am grateful he is taking a plane back, I just don’t driving would have ended well.
I’ve always felt a strong connection with older folks. I volunteered at Vivalon for two plus years but recently had to put that on hold because I’ve been so busy selling houses this spring. I’ve got a few more to sell, and once my plate is clear I hope to get back to regular volunteering. In the meantime, it’s been a fulfilling experience stepping up for my former client. I treat him like I would one of my parents. I feel fortunate to be in position to help people like my former client, and look forward to getting him settled for good next month upon his return (by plane) to California.